-- Maybe this is just me thinking outloud...Its strange how three weeks without someone somehow felt easier than four days with them here. When he was gone, I missed him yes, absolutley but I could at least hold myself together. I could at least breath through the sistance, convinving myself it was temporary, numb the waiting,. But now he's back and every inch of me aches. The scent of him, the way he looks at me, the way i know exactly what his skin feels like under my hands again....its unbearable. Im holding back so much, beacuse if i start it im not sure I’ll let it stop. I throught the hard part would be the waiting I thought this is surely as hard as itll be the ache is only bad cuz your gone. But this is worse, four days of him here and i feel wrecked. i see him and my body betrays me. My lips ache for his, my thighs press together, my core heats and melts like its begging to be claimed. If only he knew how often i replay it in my head, the way his weight feels over me the strech, the slide, the dizzying moment i lose myself. If only he knew how wet i already am just thinking about him. theres a waterfall between my legs and the cave behind it is aching, throbbing desperate to be explored again....and again....and again the waiting is tortue, The nearness is hell, and God help me i dont want relief from it.....i want him - I see you and i want to cave, i want to let every ounce of restrain disapear. Show you what my words have been abel to say for weeks while you were away.